We Were Never Ours

All I wanted was to live inside the seconds of our togetherness;

to savor the quiet space between us,

to lose myself in the way our eyes met, heavy with unspoken desire.

The rain.

The ginger cravings between us.

The couch.

The late calls that lingered beyond reason.

Each detail pulling our bodies closer.

The taste of love,

which had sat sour in my mouth for many winters,

slowly turned luscious again.

My heart began to beat without force.

I longed for your voice at sunrise.

Craved the warmth of your presence — thirsty for the sweetness of our first kiss.

Even our silence spoke.

It revived something in me.

A welcomed intoxication.

An aphrodisiac I did not resist.

Around you, the sharp edges of my reality softened.

The disappointments.

The halted plans.

The cold-blooded hurdles that had cornered my life.

With you, I believed I would be fine.

If not that day, then the next.

I never allowed myself to dream of forever.

A lifetime of mutual endearment was an illusion I could not afford.

So I settled for companionship.

For moments.

For fragments.

Suddenly, everything felt dangerously like home.

My confused reality went on pause while I swam in the sweetness of your "hellos."

Your words took on colors I had never seen, yet stood in a stillness I instantly trusted.

There was an honesty in your quiet that gently seduced me.

A simplicity you showed that anchored me — disarmed me.

For the first time in a long time,

I could breathe —even if only in short, stolen breaths.

It hurt to know I could not have more than your touch:

your fingers tracing my neck,

your hands' gentle pressure on my hips,

your lips brushing against mine.

I forbade any deeper feelings from rising within me.

did I venture to uncover yours.

The cuddles were enough.

For the moment.

A shadow of affection had grown between us,

rooted in something sadly forbidden.

We both knew the undefined romance was fragile —

born under circumstances that could not sustain it.

I was not yours.

You were not mine.

You were never meant to stay.

And so, it was never meant for you to see the nakedness of my soul —

the insecurity I carried in my quieter battles.

But the moment you did,

the illusion cracked.

The thrill faded.

The danger dissolved.

You were my escape — a borrowed fantasy.

And now reality took you back.

#affection #untimelylove #unpredictablelove #passion #lust #temptation