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It's Over...and it's OK!

Updated: Jul 18, 2019

The latest Toni Braxton’s song, Long As I Live, drags to the forefront a powerful reminder to women in love. However, one must listen to the lyrics line by line. I find the chorus poisonous because I refuse to sing that I will “never get over” a man who has happily moved on to someone else. Still, the power of the song resides in its bridge: “If you can’t be with the one you really, truly love…it's okay.”

I agree; we must fight for what we believe in, more so when we're convinced to have found the one. Unfortunately, for either apparent or inexplicable reasons sometimes, even real relationships don’t always have a happy story.

I believe if my partner insists on leaving me despite all my efforts to save the relationship, then I owe it to myself to let him go. I know the thought of being alone or starting a new relationship can be irritating, but it's wrong to forfeit my emotional and spiritual well-being simply to keep someone around.

Our mind knows this. Then again, when it comes to matters of love, the mind has no power over a stubborn heart. The heart picks whomever it wants to love, even a toxic person; causing us at times to "really, truly" love the wrong one.

We delay our life for the wrong person.

We tie the knots with the wrong person.

We bear children with the wrong person.

In fact, the heart is notorious for playing tricks on our mind; often leading us into making bad decisions. So, the more we guard our heart, the wiser we become when engaging in a new relationship.

I love my gender. One of the strengths of a woman is her ability to suppress sexual urges her entire life, if she wants to. A woman has the power to recapture her control over her feelings and rebuke any offer of compromise from an unreciprocated love. But, it takes discipline.

To be honest, it’s not romantic to “never get over” someone who doesn’t want us anymore. It is, however, an indication of low self-esteem. Whether you’ve invested in a long relationship or experienced a divorce, all is not lost. Mistakes happen. We just have to learn from them and move on. There's no point to delay your happiness because of one person. You deserve more.

Life can be complicated too, especially when we're sure we've met the right one. There's perfect harmony, and the feelings are mutual, but in this case, he's not available. Even in such unfair situations, we must find the strength to stay away. Loving from afar may seem cruel, but sometimes, it is the best thing for us.

The last thing we wish for ourselves is more pain and setbacks in our lives. It's mature to refuse to break another woman’s heart – another woman’s marriage. However, should you succumb, endure to remain in silence, in the dark; having no expectations.

As women, we must find peace with being alone. If we continue to grieve over men who have left us, we'll miss the chance to be loved right. A man who rejects you is only clearing the way for the one you deserve. The one may not arrive on your clock, but surely, he will. Until then, if you can’t be with the one you love, it's "really, truly" okay

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